First posted on 16 July 2002 ~ Sooner or later.

1231 hours

"hmm want to chat and see how things could be resolved...."

Interesting choice of word: "resolved". How do you "resolve" something that can only end in one person's favour? Oh well, Thursday dinner it is then.

Back to the packing. Damn, hellavu mountain of stuff left over at my place.

Daybreak

And then your dignity is taken away.

I feel like I have been living in an illusion and a lie. All those times we laughed with each other, was I laughing at a dream?

"The time you spent together is a lie, for him, not you. You loved and was with someone you love. If he didn't feel the same way, he took something he didn't deserve."

I want to tell myself that these are all just his attempts to justify his change of heart - it is not easy for anyone involved. But all these are like multiple daggers being deliberately dragged across my entire being, and then back, and then all over again, and hurting me more than that one single stab to my heart. I feel like shit.

Why am I being made to feel bad when I did nothing but love with all my heart and yes, my soul too?

Watching the axe fall.